Click to learn more about these common questions.
What I Can Offer
I work with couples using a therapy model called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT is an evidence-based method using the latest research on human attachment and provides a roadmap already built out for us to work towards measurable improvement in your relationship.
My first responsibility as your Couple’s Therapist is to make our space feel safe and for our conversations to move slowly. When the energy starts to rise, I will hit the pause button and invite you both to reflect on what is happening with your feelings and thoughts.
I will bring curiosity about the interpretations and emotions lying underneath the communication happening on the surface and help both of you connect deeper with your inner experience.
My goal is to help you create a shared narrative of your relationship. When we can fully understand what each of you is experiencing individually within your relationship pattern, we can understand how these two experiences reinforce one another. Most importantly, we can notice opportunities for change.
Does Couples Therapy Really Work?
Couples therapy is a dynamic process that focuses on all the details of your relationship. What do you do? What do you say? How do you feel? How does your partner respond to you? What story do you tell yourself about how your relationship dynamic unfolds?
Even if you are not feeling desperate for change, couples therapy can be a valuable process. There is a big difference between conversations about “how we are doing together in this relationship”, versus “how is our relationship doing? And why?”
Long-term relationships require flexibility. People change. Goals shift. Our needs change. Families grow. Successful relationships are those that can adapt to change and maintain the bond that connected them in the first place.
There is one theme shared by all couples who have worked with me: “When we try to talk about it, our communication breaks down and it feels more like we are adversaries than solving problems as a team.”
Any difficulties you bring into couples therapy are resolvable. I have seen it happen, both as a therapist and in my own life. Your willingness to approach these issues with good intention and care is the most important factor. The fact that you are here says a lot already.
Do We Need Couples Therapy?
How Can Couples Therapy Help?
More than anything, couples therapy provides a space to talk about your relationship. Growing in a relationship requires talking about how we relate together. Talking about ”how we talk” is not a common practice. These conversations do not often happen organically.
Together, our work is to notice all the details, recognize them in the moment, and include them in the communication between you and your partner.
Over time, our work together will help you gain:
More understanding of your partner
A deeper understanding of yourself
Insight about how your relationship pattern unfolds
Awareness of how you can change the way you and your partner relate to each other